Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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