I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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