Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize