Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
