It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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