looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
