It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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