the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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