he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize