Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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