okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
