You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
