dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize