i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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