Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
