he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
