thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
