Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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