New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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