is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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