just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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