First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize