thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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