Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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