these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
