i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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