She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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