not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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