Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
