Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
