you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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