You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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