yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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