There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
