I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
