i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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