Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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