singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
