Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
