Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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