It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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