its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She made me pour olive oil on her.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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