Nicole vs. Life
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
