What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
