let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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