We're facebook friends in real life
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize