Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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