When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize