Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize