why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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