What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
