My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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