thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
