and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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