At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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