I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drunk is not a location!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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