Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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