Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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